Disclaimer:
This post is based on my personal experience with PCOS. I am not a medical professional, and this is not intended to replace professional medical advice. Every body is different, and if something here resonates with you, I encourage you to speak to a qualified healthcare provider you trust.

When I first started writing The Unsaid Diaries, I had a reason — to talk about things we usually do not say out loud. The experiences we whisper about, avoid discussing in groups, or are taught to quietly endure.

Today, as I mark an year of writing, I am opening a chapter from my life that has stayed with me for over 10 years — and will stay with me until the day I die.

This chapter began when I was 14, I got my first period.

No one had really prepared me for it. I knew it would happen “one day,” but nothing prepares a child for the sudden sight of blood and the fear that follows. I can still describe that moment in detail — and anyone who menstruates knows this truth: you never forget your first period.

It was already overwhelming as a child. But what came next, years later, was something I was not prepared for at all.

In 2018, when I was 19, I missed my period.

At first, there was a strange sense of relief. No bleeding. No discomfort. No disruption for a few days.
I remember thinking, Wow — no blood for the next four days. But relief did not last long.

When I went to see a GP, instead of investigation or concern, I was repeatedly asked one question:
“Are you pregnant?”

No tests. No scans. Just assumptions.

Imagine being a young woman — barely out of your teens — being told you might be pregnant simply because your body did not behave “normally.” As if missing a period automatically meant sex, secrecy, and dishonesty.

I will always be grateful for my mother in that room. She stood beside me and said firmly, “Before you assume anything, can you please check what is actually wrong?”

That moment mattered.

A few months later, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) — also known as PCOD.

Back then, it affected one in every five women. I was not ready for what came with that diagnosis.

Words like infertility were introduced casually — as if a 19-year-old should be worried about whether she could get pregnant someday. As if that was the most urgent concern for a young woman who was still figuring out her life, her career, and herself.

I remember thinking, How considerate — worrying about pregnancy when I am 20 and not even thinking about it.

In 2019, if you searched for PCOS online, you would barely find a few pages of research. There was — and still is — no cure. Just different ways which doesn’t 100% sure anything.

And the explanation often felt worse than the condition itself:
that PCOS exists because women did something wrong.

Too stressed. Wrong lifestyle. Poor choices.

Living on this planet for 20 years and suddenly being told your body is malfunctioning because of you — while you are just starting to earn, dream, and build a life — is not easy to digest.

People around me spoke about how dreadful their periods were. I had not had one in 6 months.

And this is where it gets misunderstood — no period does not mean no problem.

PCOS shows up differently for everyone:
irregular or delayed periods, heavy bleeding, mood swings, weight gain, excessive hair growth, hormonal imbalance, mental exhaustion.

You are expected to function normally — work long hours, manage family expectations, keep going — while your body quietly struggles.

The response is often dismissive: “Take these medicines, you will be fine.”

Most of them were birth control pills. Pills that induce periods, regulate hormones, but also prevent pregnancy, I urge to read the side effects of them and you will never suggest them to anyone.

Pregnancy was never my concern. Understanding my body was.

At some point, PCOS started being compared to conditions like cancer or other major diseases— not in outcome, but in uncertainty.

Those research took decades to evolve. Even today, there are multiple types, treatments, and unanswered questions. PCOS sits in a similar space of neglect — under-researched, under-funded, under-explained.

And people often respond with, “But it is not fatal.” As if death is the only measure of seriousness.

Death is inevitable for everyone — diagnosed or not.
What matters is how you live today, with a condition that affects your body, mind, confidence, and future without clear answers.

As a 20-year-old, I was suddenly expected to manage questions I did not have answers to. My mother thought it was temporary. Doctors were unsure. Information was scattered. Fear was constant.

Eventually, after persistent searching, I found a better OB-GYN.
Then books. Then support groups. Then women who were walking the same confusing path.

That was the real beginning of the journey. One thing PCOS does confirm is high testosterone.

So if you live with it — pick up those dumbbells. Strength training helps. Not just physically, but mentally.

It teaches you that your body is not broken.
It is adapting. It is responding. It is asking to be understood, not blamed.

This is just the beginning. The Chapter One.

If you see yourself in any part of this story, know this:
you are not alone, your body is not a mistake, and your experience is valid.

Sometimes, saying the unsaid is where healing begins. More soon. Stay tuned.