To begin with, I want to ask you something, my dear readers.
When someone dislikes you, what do you instantly think? Is it that the person doesn’t like you because you have a particular flaw? Or do you think there might be their own reason, something completely unrelated to you, and that is why they don’t like you?

If your answer is the first one… then my next question is this.

Why do we, in a matter of seconds, already know exactly which part of ourselves is to blame? Oh yes, I know I am not great at this. That is why they don’t like me.

Why do we always think that because of this particular flaw, we won’t be liked? Or that if we just fix this one thing, we will finally be desired, accepted, or chosen? Why are we so fixated on our flaws?

Especially for those who grew up feeling a little… too aware of ourselves. Too visible in the wrong moments. Too invisible when we wanted to be seen.

Since childhood I have noticed people who carry things that the world decided were worth making fun of. Someone who stutters. Someone who cannot pronounce certain words, might have slip of tongue. Someone with stage fear so deep it lives quietly inside them even when no one else can see it.

Believe me…. I was one of them.

In school, speaking up was rare for me. Having an opinion out loud felt almost impossible. While others raised their hands, I sat with mine folded, hoping no one would call on me.

And then I met the teachers who changed that.

They questioned me, pointed things out in front of the class, not to disrespect me, but to challenge me. To urge me to find a voice for myself. They helped me choose to build my confidence instead of questioning my silence. They gave me patience. A chance. And that chance became everything.

But what made it even more special was the people sitting beside me. My peers, not one of them laughed. Instead they said things like you can do it, go for it, take your time but say what you wish to say. I know that is not what happens everywhere. I know that is not the reality for most people. And I hold that as one of the most quietly beautiful things that ever happened to me.

But here is something I have learnt, and I hold onto it still.

Sometimes, it is mostly all in our heads. Maybe nobody is thinking about our flaws as much as we are. Maybe while we are shrinking in our heads, they are shrinking in theirs too.

I am not saying this is the only scenario. But it is one of them. And it is worth remembering more often than we do.

When I think about that little girl who was afraid to speak, and then I look at where I am now, writing her opinions openly and putting them out into the world, I feel something that is hard to describe. Pride, maybe. Gratitude, definitely. These thoughts still come. The self-doubt, the second-guessing, the old familiar voice that wonders if this is too much. But every day I choose to keep going anyway. And I think that is what choosing yourself actually looks like…not the absence of fear, but the decision to move despite it.

I did not get here alone. My childhood teachers, my friends, my parents, the support around me made more difference than they will ever fully know. A kind word here. A nudge there. Someone choosing to stand beside me instead of laugh.

So if you ever encounter someone who is struggling, someone who does not speak the way the world decided is correct, someone shrinking in a room full of people, give them a chance. Stand right beside them.

Your support, the thing you might shrug off as nothing, might be the thing that changes everything for them.

What feels small to you might be the biggest thing that ever happened to someone else.

A NOTE
Some of the things mentioned above, stuttering, difficulty pronouncing words, stage fear rooted in something deeper…can be present from birth. They are not flaws to be fixed or jokes to be made. They are simply part of how some people exist in the world. So rather than finding it funny, why not choose to be kind? It costs nothing. And it might mean everything.