Attachment. A single word. But it holds so many things.

Nowadays I keep hearing about detachment. You scroll through reels and there they are, tips and tricks on how to be detached, how to keep people at a distance, how to protect yourself by simply… caring less. And as a person, I genuinely cannot understand this.

How do you not get attached?

You are talking to someone every day. Texting them every day. Sharing your thoughts with them, your friends, your colleagues, your parents. And then something goes wrong, something shifts, and suddenly you are supposed to teach yourself to not be attached. And worse, maybe even act like you never cared at all.

Since when did this start? It is not like people were not hurting us before. But acting like they never existed, like it does not matter anymore, why?

Why has texting someone to say you miss them become wrong?
Why has showing love to people become something to be embarrassed about?

You might be thinking right now, why is she questioning so many things, she has never done this before.

But wait a second lets give it a thought first.
Since when we started being an inconvenience to our loved ones?
Since when did we start measuring whether we are too much before we even contacted them?

When I was growing up, I had great friends around me. And I never once thought, am I being an inconvenience? It never crossed my mind, and I don’t think it crossed theirs either. We just showed up. We walked a kilometre more for that friend. We stayed on a call for longer because they needed us. We held someone’s hand before asking too many questions. We cooked an extra meal or picked up their favourite thing from the supermarket just because we knew they liked it.

Since when did showing up for people become the extraordinary thing?
Since when did caring become a favour we are doing someone?

I still feel all of this because I live it every single day.

I live abroad. The people I grew up with are spread across different countries now. Some came here and have since moved back. And every day I make a choice, to still show up, to still text, to still ask how they are doing, to still care. Not because it is easy. But because the distance never made them matter less to me. It never will.

Leaving people behind to go after your dreams is already hard enough. I refuse to make it harder by pretending I stopped caring about them too.

I understand, truly I do, that doing things while your boundaries are being crossed, staying in relationships where you are not respected, that is wrong. That needs to change. I am not arguing with that.

But acting detached just because you don’t want to feel anymore?
Acting nonchalant as if nothing touches you? That is a different story, and a ridiculous one in my head.

We are humans. We care. It is in our nature. Think about it, if you give a prompt to any AI today, it asks you follow-up questions. There is care even built into that. So how can anyone tell me, with a straight face, that the answer is to be detached from people?

If you truly want to be detached, be detached from cruelty. Be detached from relationships where you are not respected. Be detached from the habit of disguising your fear and calling it self-protection.

But do not be detached from people who show up for you. Do not be detached from love, from missing someone, from texting first. Do not let the internet convince you that feeling things deeply is the problem.

It never was.
Feel free to comment below your opinions, voices, thoughts. Would like to know insights of my readers!