Attachment. A single word. But it holds so many things.

Nowadays I keep hearing about detachment. You scroll through reels and there they are, tips and tricks on how to be detached, how to keep people at a distance, how to protect yourself by simply… caring less. And as a person, I genuinely cannot understand this.

How do you not get attached?

You are talking to someone every day. Texting them every day. Sharing your thoughts with them, your friends, your colleagues, your parents. And then something goes wrong, something shifts, and suddenly you are supposed to teach yourself to not be attached. And worse, maybe even act like you never cared at all.

Since when did this start? It is not like people were not hurting us before. But acting like they never existed, like it does not matter anymore, why?

Why has texting someone to say you miss them become wrong?
Why has showing love to people become something to be embarrassed about?

You might be thinking right now, why is she questioning so many things, she has never done this before.

But wait a second lets give it a thought first.
Since when we started being an inconvenience to our loved ones?
Since when did we start measuring whether we are too much before we even contacted them?

When I was growing up, I had great friends around me. And I never once thought, am I being an inconvenience? It never crossed my mind, and I don’t think it crossed theirs either. We just showed up. We walked a kilometre more for that friend. We stayed on a call for longer because they needed us. We held someone’s hand before asking too many questions. We cooked an extra meal or picked up their favourite thing from the supermarket just because we knew they liked it.

Since when did showing up for people become the extraordinary thing?
Since when did caring become a favour we are doing someone?

I still feel all of this because I live it every single day.

I live abroad. The people I grew up with are spread across different countries now. Some came here and have since moved back. And every day I make a choice, to still show up, to still text, to still ask how they are doing, to still care. Not because it is easy. But because the distance never made them matter less to me. It never will.

Leaving people behind to go after your dreams is already hard enough. I refuse to make it harder by pretending I stopped caring about them too.

I understand, truly I do, that doing things while your boundaries are being crossed, staying in relationships where you are not respected, that is wrong. That needs to change. I am not arguing with that.

But acting detached just because you don’t want to feel anymore?
Acting nonchalant as if nothing touches you? That is a different story, and a ridiculous one in my head.

We are humans. We care. It is in our nature. Think about it, if you give a prompt to any AI today, it asks you follow-up questions. There is care even built into that. So how can anyone tell me, with a straight face, that the answer is to be detached from people?

If you truly want to be detached, be detached from cruelty. Be detached from relationships where you are not respected. Be detached from the habit of disguising your fear and calling it self-protection.

But do not be detached from people who show up for you. Do not be detached from love, from missing someone, from texting first. Do not let the internet convince you that feeling things deeply is the problem.

It never was.
Feel free to comment below your opinions, voices, thoughts. Would like to know insights of my readers!

Happy International Women’s Day to my readers.

As we celebrate the empowerment of women, I have realised something: if you are ambitious, a dreamer, an achiever, and someone who wants more from life, you must also learn to be comfortable being disliked. People’s opinions are often just noise….not your reality.

When I was in school, I often saw the idea that being liked by everyone was important. From a young age, we are taught to maintain harmony, to adjust, and to be agreeable. Slowly, that idea becomes part of your identity.

We start believing that being liked by everyone is a sign of success. We begin craving attention and approval. Over time, it becomes ingrained in us to be liked by most people.

But as I grew up, I realised that given my personality, being liked by everyone was never going to be realistic. And honestly, it shouldn’t be the goal either.

There will always be people who misunderstand you, judge you, or feel uncomfortable with your confidence, your boundaries, or your ambition. Sometimes people will question your choices simply because they are different from their own.

And that is okay.

As women, especially ambitious women, we are often expected to soften our edges to make others comfortable. We are told to speak less, demand less, and dream within acceptable limits. But the moment you step outside that box, criticism follows.

And if your mindset is like a diamond…congratulations…you will need stronger filters. Also, not everyone can afford a diamond.

The truth is, growth often comes with discomfort…not just for you, but for the people around you. When you start choosing yourself, protecting your peace, and building a life that aligns with your values, some people may not understand it.

And that is part of the journey.

Being disliked is not always a sign that you are doing something wrong. Sometimes it simply means you are no longer shrinking yourself to fit into spaces that were never meant for you.

Harmony is beautiful. But harmony that costs your peace is expensive.

Learning the art of being disliked is really about learning the art of being authentic. It means standing by your values even when others disagree. It means trusting your path even when it looks different from everyone else’s.

So if someone thinks you are too ambitious, too independent, too opinionated, or too different…take it as a compliment.

Because sometimes being disliked simply means you stopped abandoning yourself to make others comfortable.

Another day, another night, another week… and here I am with my blog.
How was Thanksgiving for you all?
Hopefully the cold weather was killed by the warm people around you.
And hopefully the same warmth shows up ahead, as we move into Christmas and the end of 2025.

You know what has been happening lately?
When I see someone’s real colours, I don’t get surprised anymore. It’s a strange feeling.

People disappoint you? Seen it.
People act nice because they need something? Been there.
You give your heart, and they act like it was nothing? Done that.
I don’t even get angry now. It’s more like… “Okay cool, noted.”

People Change Like Weather

I have watched people change as quickly as the weather.
I have heard promises made because it was easier to lie than to have a difficult conversation.
I have sat at tables that started as friendships and ended like I was dining with enemies.

You might say, “Oh, is that so?”
But trust me — nothing is new. Everyone has faced this in some form.

But the real plot twist happens when you start to see yourself.

I now trust my gut more than anyone’s words.
Call it overthinking, intuition, analytical skills, trauma response — pick your label.
But every time my stomach whispers, “This is going to end badly.” …it usually does.

A few weekends ago, I was on a late-night call with my best friend.
You know the ones — where your whole life story comes up after midnight,
and suddenly every “maybe” and “what if” wants attention.
She talked about her world, and I found myself saying,
“Yeah… same.” Seen it. Been there. Done that.

The Fitting-In Era

For a long time, I tried to fit into boxes.
Friendships, relationships…
That thought of:
“If I am less of myself, maybe they will accept me more.”
WRONG.
Spoiler:
That never works.
If you have to dim your light to stay in someone’s space, it’s not your space.

On this road of life — where I still am — I have made many mistakes.
Some childish, some knowingly, some expensive. I paid with time, peace, and money.

But when I look back now, I see how much healing those mistakes forced me into.
They were a learning curve — preparation for the storms I never knew were coming.

You don’t wake up wise one morning.
You get dragged, heartbroken, humiliated… and then you learn.

So you might be thinking,
“Okay, but what now?”

Here’s the answer:
Every disappointment teaches you something — if you are willing to listen.

People say I am guarded now, I don’t socialise much, I have boundaries too high, I don’t let everyone in.
They say “you have changed.” I call it self-preservation.

These aren’t excuses — they’re safety nets.
The brain remembers who hurt it.
Trauma responses? Maybe.
But they are also the first line of defence.

Whatever you have seen, wherever you have been, whatever you have already lived through —
don’t shrink because of it. Don’t go quiet on yourself.
Let your sparkle stay alive, even if it annoys a few people.

If you are reading this,
maybe this year broke you a bit.
Maybe people used you.
Maybe you tried your absolute best and got nothing in return.

Trust me — you are never alone in this journey.

But surviving, learning, and still becoming something? That’s the flex nobody can steal from you.

And if you have lived something like this,
tell me someday.
Not so I can fix it,
not so we can compare scars —
just so we both remember we are not the only messy humans figuring life out.

The year is closing soon.
Hopefully this cozy weather makes you feel warm and nice and prepares you to hit the gym 30 days from today.
Do one thing for yourself:
Stay strong enough to face tomorrow, and smart enough to remember yesterday.

So when someone says,
“You’re acting from past experience,”
you can reply:
“My analysis of life is on point. I am just a reader.”
Count your losses as lessons — and flaunt them next time.