Hello my dear readers, welcome to another blog…. today my blog title expresses more than what I have to say.

This blog is a love letter, ripping off a band aid, or applying ointment to my wounds….
how many metaphors do I talk about? I believe I will always have another one to say.

My birthday was 2 weeks ago, I have finally entered my late 20s era. And while I was sitting with myself, receiving wishes and feeling all the feelings, I started thinking about how my last decade looked. What it held. What it taught me.

No matter what generation you are reading this from, we all have that one thought growing up, I will start dating or enter into a relationship when I am 18. None less to say, I was the same….
And then some people end up marrying that first person. In my case, I got an ex. And then another, and then another got adding in the list.

Today it has been a long time since I started dating but things are still the same. I always find someone interesting at first, we click, slowly the pages unfold and I understand, oh God, this is another lesson and not the forever.
And sitting here now, on the other side of another birthday, I think of the What-ifs. What if I had ended up with that ex? Or that one? And honestly, it feels like a nightmare in my head.

Not because they were bad. Trust me, I have not been with someone bad, and I know the terms of bad can mean different things. But none of them treated me badly. The normal human decency was always there. It just did not work out.

Sometimes in my head I relive those moments. I think about them. And my dear readers, I have to say if you have dated anyone and are now in your single era, I am not saying in casual way but those happy moments with your exes were good however there will be a list of reasons why you chose to end it. Please visit that list when the nostalgia hits.

I feel extremely lucky because of all those boys who came into my life, showed me why they should not be in my life, and were like passengers who waited for the next stop and got off. Or I made them exit a little earlier than they planned. Thanks to those who stayed through the hard times, guided me to listen to my instincts, helped me trust myself…. and then left again. You still taught me something.

And through all of it, quietly and loudly at the same time, there were my friends. The ones who carried the light for me when I could not find it. Who listened to me rant about the same guy again and again without once making me feel like too much. All of these situations showed me who my real friends are, why they love me, and why I should love and choose myself.
I will always be grateful for that.

While this blog is my vulnerable side, I cannot tell you how many days and nights I gave to writing this and finding the courage to actually post it. But here it is.

PS to the guys I dated I am glad it did not worked out and happier that we din’t get married.

I love reading books and yes, I have my own fictional favourite man. And one of my friends once advised me, please lower your standards, those men do not exist in the real world. I hear you. I really do.
My fictional men are probably not walking around exactly as written. But there are 7 billion people in this world. Somewhere out there, maybe someone ticks 90% of the list. And maybe, just maybe, that is my forever.

Till then, a promise to myself. Not to shrink for someone else’s standards. Not to regret the ones I dated, well, maybe one or two.
And a decade from today, when I come back to read this, I hope I have chosen myself still.

Also, PS. Its love letter to me and not to my exes.